Have you ever heard the expression when you’re pointing a finger at someone, you’re pointing three fingers back at yourself?
A lot of people used to tell me this when I was younger.
It’s highlighting this idea that while we’re busy trying to point out the flaws in other people we’re just trying to avoid recognizing the flaws within ourselves.
It reminded me of gossip.
It is so easy to join your friends and put down a particular individual and say things that you wouldn’t say to that other person's face but because the conversation isn’t about you it's fine.
It is so easy to say that person A is so “extra, troublesome, a bother, etc," or Person B has a "temper and is arrogant."
But when it comes to you, if anyone was to say that about you it wouldn’t be fine.
You’d be angry, offended, and hurt.
So what makes it okay to say or think those things about others?
There have been many instances that I’ve realized I’ve been judgemental about certain individuals and I subconsciously looked down at them because of what I thought.
But that was the issue.
It’s just what “I thought” about them and not what I actually knew about them.
More so, it was a reflection of me avoiding recognizing my issues and my flaws - I’m hypocritical and selfish but that’s not the issue right now, this other person needs to get their stuff together because otherwise, it’s all downhill for them.
And that is the case with everyone we judge. We do not know entirely who they are or exactly what they have been through for them to act the way they’re acting. And regardless of what someone has been through, we have no right to judge.
This is why if you want to judge someone, judge yourself.
Point out your own flaws so you can fix them. Because you can’t “fix” anyone else on this earth but yourself.
We can advise, encourage, or suggest to others, but we have no right to judge, point, or talk behind their backs.
If you ever feel the need to confront someone, do it right in their faces and tell them. Let them correct you or tell them why they’re the way they are so you’re not making false judgments.
Because a lot of the judgments we make in our head can end up forming a false image of someone and cause us to feel negatively towards them when in reality it’s all based on our assumptions.
And even if these judgments are right, we can do nothing but accept that truth. We cannot do anything to change another individual, that is all up to them and what they want for their life.
Ask before you assume
Encourage before you criticize
And accept the truth before you judge.
As always
Stay happy healthy and blessed 🤟🏾🙏🏽
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